


Back Alley Deals

by 42hrb



Category: DCU (Comics), Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crack, Crack Crossover, Crack Relationships, Crossover, Gotham, M/M, Public Blow Jobs, Sass, Secret Identity, This Is STUPID
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-10
Updated: 2017-09-10
Packaged: 2018-12-25 21:44:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12044898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/42hrb/pseuds/42hrb
Summary: Scott sends Stiles to Gotham to look into some missing kids, Stiles finds more than he expected.ORThe Stiles Stilniski/Jason Todd crossover that no one asked for.





	Back Alley Deals

**Author's Note:**

> No one asked for this. Literally no one.

“Go see what’s been happening in Gotham, Stiles. You’ll be fine on your own, Stiles. You’re already on the East Coast, Stiles. There aren’t really vigilantes running the streets of Gotham; that’s an urban legend, Stiles,” Stiles muttered under his breath as he walked down an ally in a pretty seedy looking neighborhood of Gotham City.

Scott asked him to investigate a few missing persons cases in Gotham that had caught the pack’s attention, since the missing people were all teenage werewolf runaways. Stiles didn’t understand why they were even getting involved-- it was clear across the country from their territory, and there were several packs on the East Coast that could handle it.  But he was the McCall Pack emissary, and it was his job to go where Scott asked, even if he thought it was dumb. 

“I hear talking to yourself is the first sign of insanity,” a voice said from somewhere above him. When Stiles looked up, he saw a shadowy figure clad in leather and kevlar on the fire escape.

“And  _ I _ hear that dressing up like someone who should be on the pages of a comic book and fighting bad guys in the dead of night is the second,” Stiles shot back, knowing full well that the guy above him could probably beat him in hand to hand combat but not caring.

The guy above him laughed and jumped down, landing heavily on the ground in front of Stiles. He had less than an inch on Stiles’ 6’2”, but he was broader in the shoulders and chest, and he had thighs that Stiles wanted to ride, muscular and clad in tight pants, strapped with gun holsters. 

“You’re not from around here are you?” the guy asked, his face obscured by a red helmet,  but Stiles could tell he was curious and there was a smile in his voice. 

“Nope,” Stiles said, offering nothing more. He was ready to defend himself if it came down to it, but he didn’t feel threatened by the man standing in front of him. He was oddly comfortable being in the current situation. 

“This isn’t the best neighborhood,” the man in the red helmet said, taking a step toward him. 

“I gathered as much,” Stiles said, letting magic start to pool in his hands just in case something went very wrong. 

There was a huff that could have been another laugh, “Want to tell me what you’re doing here? Most of the time when I find out of towners in Crime Alley they aren’t up to any good.”

“Well in  _ my _ experience people who wear masks that cover their entire face usually aren’t up to any good,” Stiles shot back. 

“That’s fair,” The guy said, “I’ll take the mask off if you tell me why you’re hanging out in this alley.”

Stiles nodded and said, “I’m looking for someone.”

The guy didn’t take his helmet off, but he did hit a button on the side and there was a hiss of air as it clicked open, “You gotta give me a little more than that, Bambi.”

“Bambi? Are you fucking kidding me?” Stiles said, rolling his eyes. He had long outgrown his Bambi phase. The guy laughed again and Stiles added, “I’m looking for some missing teenagers.”

“Better,” the guy said, tugging the helmet off and it was Stiles turn to laugh.

“You’re actually wearing a mask  _ under _ your mask,” he said through his laughter. “Are all the vigilantes in Gotham this extra or is it just you, leather and sinfully tight pants man?”

The guy smirked, taking another step toward Stiles. Stiles didn’t back up, instead he looked into the white lenses where the guy's eyes should have been and smirked back. 

“Missing teenagers, huh,” The guy said, running a gloved hand through his sweat damp hair. “I might know a little something about missing teens.”

“Care to share with the class?” 

“And what do I get?” The guy asked, “I could find them and save the day, it’s what I do.”

“Oh really? I figured you just hung out in alleys and tried to scare the locals into behaving,” Stiles said, knowing he was toeing the line, but he kind of wanted to see what would happen if he crossed it. 

“I have a lot of fucking weapons on me, you should show me a little respect, Bambi,” The guy said, his voice a little rough, his hand resting gently on a gun. It really shouldn’t have been a turn on, but Stiles was a little fucked up when it came to his turn ons. 

“I only show respect to people who’ve fucking earned it,” Stiles said, looking back at the line he had just crossed without regrets, “Have you earned it?”

“You’ve got a mouth on you,” The guy said, “Wonder what else does it can do.”

Stiles smirked, enjoying the way red helmet’s white-lensed eyes looked at him as he did, “I could show you if you tell me where to start looking for the missing kids.” 

“What’d ya have in mind?” The guy asked, stepping so that he and Stiles were chest to chest, “Something filthy I hope.”

“Got a name I can call you? I like to at least pretend I know the names of guys that I’m about to blow for information,” Stiles said, letting the guy press him against the brick wall in the alley. 

“I’m gonna tell you what you need to know,” The guy said quickly, “You don’t have to blow me.”

“I know,” Stiles said, resting a hand cautiously on the guy’s shoulder, “But I want to, so if you don’t want it tell me to stop.”

“Don’t fucking stop,” The guy said, quickly hitting a couple buttons on his suit that Stiles hadn’t seen and added, “If we’re looking for the same kids, you should find them in a warehouse down by the docks, they weren’t hurt, but they were tied up when I did some recon.”

“Good to know,” Stiles said, running a hand down the guy’s chest. “About the name.”

“You can call me Red Hood,” The guy said and Stiles laughed. “What?”

“Nothing, Red, it’s just usually I’m the one going by that kind of nickname,” Stiles said, “Only mine is more of a ‘Little Red Riding Hood’ kind of thing.”

“I’m not seeing anything little about you, Bambi,” Red said and then he kissed Stiles, hot and needy, the kind of kiss Stiles hadn’t had in months. 

Red Hood tasted like cigarettes and blue gatorade, a combination that should not have been sexy at all, but the way his thigh had found its way between Stiles’ legs made everything seem sexy. 

Stiles' hands found their way to Red’s neck and even though they were nearly the same height he hoisted Stiles up and pinned him against the wall. Stiles wrapped his legs around Red’s waist and lost himself in the kiss. 

“Ya know,” Stiles said after a few minutes (Hours? Days?) of making out, “My mouth can do a lot more than this.”

“Fuck,” Red muttered, letting go of Stiles’ thighs and stepping back just enough for Stiles to spin them and pin Red against the wall. “You’re stronger than you look, Bambi.”

“Just because I’m not built like a truck doesn’t mean I’m not strong,” Stiles said, sinking to his knees and unhooking Red’s belt, “I should warn you, once you’ve experienced my blowjobs nothing else will ever compare.”

“We’ll see about that.”

Stiles looked up at Red Hood and smirked as he undid his pants and tugged them low enough that his cock sprung out and he got a handful of muscular ass, “No cup, that’s pretty ballsy.”

“Was that a fuckin’ pun?”

Instead of responding, Stiles took the tip of Red’s cock into his mouth and sucked, relishing the sound of Red’s head thunking against the brick wall and the way he sucked in a breath. Stiles knew that he was good with his mouth, it was one of his many hidden talents, along with talking his way out of most situations, and magic. 

Red’s hand found the top of Stiles head and he hung on with a gloved hand, not moving Stiles at all, but like he was grounding himself.

“Fuck,” Red said from above him at Stiles took his entire length down his throat and squeezed his ass. 

This wasn’t something that Stiles would normally do. He wasn’t that into public sex and he usually liked to know his partner's real name, but then again, Red didn’t know his name either. 

He stopped thinking and just focused on taking as much of Red’s cock as he could into his mouth, on swirling his tongue around the head, on the soft groans that Red was making. 

“Shit, your mouth, Bambi, it’s like it was made for this,” Red said and Stiles sucked harder, because he shouldn’t be able to still form sentences. 

It didn’t take long before Red was tugging on his hair. Stiles wasn’t sure if it was his talent as a blowjob giver or the fact that the vigilante lifestyle didn’t leave much time for sex, but either way, he pulled off and finished Red off in three strokes.

“My turn,” Red said after a moment, using a newspaper off the ground to clean himself off and zipping his pants up. 

Stiles raised an eyebrow, but allowed himself to be pinned against the wall. Red Hood sank to his knees and tugged Stiles pants down. Stiles was already painfully hard and the second that Red’s lips touched his cock Stiles knew he was done for. 

“Better make it quick Red,” Stiles said, his head tipped back against the wall. It took everything in him to not buck into Red’s mouth, but he stopped himself. He knew that choking strangers with his dick wasn’t polite. 

Red pulled off and Stiles almost whined at the loss of warmth and sensation, “Or what?”

“Or someone will find us,” Stiles said and then let out a soft moan. “Yeah just like that.”

Stiles let his eyes flutter shut at the feeling of Red humming around him. He grabbed Red’s shoulder to keep himself balanced and lost himself in the feeling. Whoever this mysterious vigilante was, he knew how to suck dick, because it wasn’t too long before Stiles could feel the heat pooling in his stomach. 

“Close,” Stiles said, voice rough, and Red sucked him through it. Stiles gripped his shoulder tighter, his knees going a little weak as he came. “Well that was something.”

“Yeah it was,” Red said smirking, “I’d give you a charming wink but I’m not a douche bag.”

“Well that and you’re wearing a mask,” Stiles shot back, zipping his pants up and making sure he didn’t look too fucked out.

“I’d have people swooning left and right if I didn’t,” Red said with a rough laugh, lighting a cigarette and taking a drag, “Plus I have a super secret identity to protect.”

“Of course,” Stiles said with a snort, “So you do this often?”

“Patrol the streets of Gotham by night or give random guys blow jobs?” Red asked, taking another drag from his cigarette before putting it out on the wall behind him.

“Both?” Stiles asked, running a hand through his hair because he didn’t know what to do with his hands.

“Patrol, yes. Random blowjobs, not as often as I’d like,” Red said with another smirk.

“Good to know,” Stiles said, wondering how to move the conversation forward or end it without being too rude. 

“If you’re ever in Gotham again look me up,” Red Hood said, solving the problem for him.  He put his helmet back on and pulled himself onto the fire escape. As he spoke a Bat lit up the sky and Red Hood sighed, “Fuckin’ better not be the Joker.”

“Need a hand with that or is there a flock of Bats coming to the rescue,” Stiles asked, making a mental note to do a little more research into Gotham’s vigilante community. 

“I’m not even going to help ‘em, those assholes can take care of the city for one night,” Red said, but Stiles had a feeling that Red would be there in a heartbeat if the bat across his chest meant anything.

Instead Stiles changed the subject, “If I were to look you up, would that be under R for Red or H for Hood.”

“It would be under R for 1-800-Rent-a-Bat,” Red said and Stiles burst out laughing, “I didn’t pick the number, it was my dickhead partner.”

“Hope he doesn’t mind you getting blowjobs in alleys from strangers,” Stiles said, “It was nice to meet you Red, can you point me in the direction of the docks?”

“Take a left at the next stoplight and go straight until you hit the water,” Red said, “I’d tell you to keep out of trouble, but with a mouth like that I know you won’t.”

Stiles waved over his shoulder as he jogged toward his rented SUV. Less than an hour later there was a flaming warehouse in his rearview and five shaken but otherwise unharmed teenagers in his backseat. 

When Scott asked how Stiles found the kids so quickly Stiles just smiled mischievously and told Scott to not ask questions he didn’t really want the answer to. 

**Author's Note:**

> [Tumblr](exuastedpigeon.tumblr.com)


End file.
